Jus' Jokin!
Jokes, Humor, Games, Fun and More! Laughter Guaranteed! BIDVERTISER
Showing posts with label Sardar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sardar. Show all posts

Some Cool Sardar Jokes!!

Posted In: . By Vasishta

Hightech sardar inventions
Four hightech sardar inventions:
-Waterproof towel
-Solar powered torch
-Book on how to read
-Pedal powered wheel chair.

------------

RICH GENEROUS SARDAR
Why does a rich generous sardar have two swimming pools of which one is always empty???
For people who don know how to swim!!

------------


SARDARJI PROPOSES TO A WOMAN AND
She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *AGAIN* barefeet!"

------------

ONLY MARRIED MEN
Banta owned a large factory. He issued orders that only married men would be employed. When his friend Santa asked him the reason, Banta replied, 'Married men are more obedient.'

 

SARDAR AND THE MOSQUITOE!

Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights.
Sardarji was also experiencing the same, every time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn."

He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge.

Happy as he is now starts singing a lorry and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands.

So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."

----------------------

THREE SARDARS IN SINGAPORE!

Three Sardarjis went for a tour to Singapore . They searched for rooms everywhere and finally got one which is in the topmost floor of a 100 floor hotel. After taking rest they started for a local visit. While leaving the hotel, the manager informed them that they should reach the hotel before10.00pm or else lift will not be available and they have to take the steps for which they agreed and went out.

After all the entertainment in the city, they reached back late at 10.30. Since lift was not available, they decided to take the stairways under the condition that each sardarji has to tell a story that lasts for 33 floors so that they can reach the 100th floor without much trouble.

After first sardarji finished his story in 33rd floor, the third sardarji said," I have a sad story to say, but i will tell at the end only". Then second sardarji finished his story and the third finished his story and finally they reached the 100th floor.

Then first sardarji asked what was the sad story. The third one said, " I forgot the room key which is on the manager's table".

They once again started back to the first floor and this time the second sardarji after crossing 33 floors from top said," I got a sad story, but I will also say that at the end". They finally reached the first floor and when asked about the sad story, the second sardarji said, " The keys were in my pocket only". With anger and full tired, they once again start from the first floor.

After reaching the 33rd floor, the third sardarji said, " I too have a sad story, but I will say at the end only". Then they reached the 100th floor and the second one asked the third sardarji about the sad story, he replied:

"This is not our hotel, It is on the other side of road, opposite to this"

------------------------

SARDAR - DUMB AND DUMBER!

Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too


Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.


A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn̢۪t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.


Two days of power cuts in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators!

---------------------------

Sardarji on KBC 2

Amitabh : apka 13th question 25 lakh yeh raha apke samne..

Contestant Sardar is tensed.

Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachan?

Computer Screen:

A. Amitabh Bachan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav

C. Moh. Azhar D. General Perverz Musharaff.

Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ?
(He is quite sure that Sardar will opt for A)
But Sardar is still confused.

Amitabh : Apke pas do life line hai..(50:50 and phone a friend)

Sardar: I think it is A but am not sure.

Amitabh : Not sure... Hmmm Ap kya karna chahenge?

Sardar : I would like to use 50:50?

Amitabh: Ok computer , 2 galat javabo ko mita de..

Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -

B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.
C. Moh. Azhar.

Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made this mistake But as is said in bollywood the show must go on. Now Sardar is even more confused.

Sardar: I would like to use the last life line phone a friend..

Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?

Sardar : Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga.

Amitabh Bachchan Shocked !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan

Santa Singh: "Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?"

Receiving reply from JAYA, Amitabh Bachan faints..

GUESS WHY?

Scroll Down
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Jaya Bachchan ask's him "What are the options?"

 

Sardar Writes A Love Letter!

Posted In: . By Vasishta

My Vonly Dearest Low,

I have a conpeshion to make. I low u sooooo much. I just low staring at your beautiful face all day long. I keep your poto by my bed and look alvays at it in the night middle time. Everyday I am thanking God for you for making Vicco Turmeric Ayurvedic Cream, because without it, you would not have that lovely scent of sandlewood or that lovely wheat colored complexion just like a fresh baked roti yar. You are such a delicious specimin of a vooman. Your lips are like nice, pink, sveet jilebi.

Sometimes I vant to bite off your nose because it reminds me of a pakora.

Smelling your hair reminds of the days vhen I vas backin the motherland and my servant used to rub coconut thel in my hair before I vould go to sleep. Vould you like to rub me with your oil vhile vee frolickk in the meadows? I vill let you be Kajol if you vill let me be Shah Rukh Khan.

We can dance and if it rains, it vill be even better because then it vill be truly Hindi style with my already tight jeans clinging to my skinny legs and your sari stuck to your plump stomach. But remember, no hanky panky.

At least not yet. Sometimes I am imagining vhat it vould be like if you were not in my life. But then I can smell the curry powder on your breath and I know you will be in my life forewer! I lowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww you wery wery much. Don't yewer porget. . . you are my little samosa and I am your chutney. You are my chicken curry and I am your naan. You are my stuffing and I am your paratha. You are my mango and I am your lassi.

Please accept this as a statement of my undying low for u porever and ever and ever.
Alvays porever your vun and vonly, Many low .

 

Sardar and The Doctor!

Posted In: . By Vasishta

This sardarji goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I ache all over. Everywhere I touch it hurts. "The doc says "Ok, touch your elbow." The sardarji touches his
elbow and winces in genuine pain.

The doc, surprised, says "touch your head. "The sardarji touches his head and jumps in agony. The doc asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. Every where the sardarji touches it hurts like hell.

The doc is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-raysetc... and tells the sardar to come back after two days. Two days later the sardar comes back and the doctor says,

"We've found your problem..." "Oh yeah? what is it ?"

'You've broken your finger!'

 

Sardar Jokes!!

Posted In: . By Vasishta

1 SARDAR PURI LIFE ONLY 1 THING SOCHTE SOCHTE MAR GAYA

KI MERE TO 2 BROTHERS HAI
PHIR MERI SISTER KE 3 BROTHERS KAISE
==========================================
SARDAR APNI SISTER KE SAATH BIKE PE JA RAHA THA.
BOY: OH! PAAJI GIRLFRIEND K SAATH KAHA JA RAHE HO

SARDAR: OYE ! GIRLFRIEND HOGI TERI MERI TO SISTER HAI.
===============================
1 SARDAR INDIAN FLAG LENE SHOP PAR GAYA.

FLAG DEKHKAR SARDAR KUCH BOLA
JISE SUNKAR SHOPKEEPER PARESHAN HO GAYA ..

GUESS WOH KYA BOLA.....




IS MEIN AUR COLOUR DIKHAO
========================================
WHAT IS THE SIMILARITY BETWEEN A SARDAR & A DONKEY

BOTH MOVES TOWARDS THE ROAD TRANSPORT AS THEY GROWN UP
========================================
1ST SARDAR : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
andone is blue with red spots!

2ND SARDAR: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at
home.
========================================
SARDAR AAJ MAINE PAANI KO ULLU BANAYA
2ND SARDAR: wo kaise?
1ST SARDAR: aaj maine nahane k liye paani garm kiya aur thande se naha liya.
=========================================
Sardarjee to Sunita:
" I want to marry you"Sunita:
But I am one year elder to you.
Sardarjee: No Problem, then I will marry you next year.
=========================================
Sardar declares:
... . . I will never marry in my life&. . .

... . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . .. ..
=========================================
SARDAR talking on cell.
2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.
1ST: biwi se.....
2ND: itne... pyar se....?
1ST: tumhari hai. . .
==========================================
SARDAR- yaar maine apni girl friend ko gift dena hai, kya dun ?
2ND- Gold ring de de
1ST- koi badi cheez bata
2ND - M.R.F ka tyre de de. .
==========================================
A donkey kicked sardar & ran away
sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it
& said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.
==========================================
SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.

2.Weakness:Banta's wife,Preeto.

3.Oppurtunity:When Banta is on tour.

4.Threat:When I am on tour
========================================
A SARDAR gave an Ad in matrimonial column
"PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got 1000 replies all saying-- 'Meri Le JA. ....
=======================================
A Sardar sees a beautiful girl . He goes and kises her .. The girl shouts and
says
what r u doing.
Sardar says B COM from KHALSA college.
======================================
sardar: yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai,
friend: acha wo kaise?
Yar kal me ghar aya to wo bath tub mai bhi security guard k sath bethi
thi.!!
======================================
Sardar: yaar meri biwi ghar chodkar bhag gai..
mona: tune use pyar se nahi rakha hoga,
sardar: nahi yar sagi behan se bhi badkar rakha tha..
=====================================
sardar : Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml
now it's 1.5 ltr.
===================================
On Jeeto's bday
Sardar had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.
When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank
manager.
======================================
Yamraj took a sardar on tour to hell. There he saw gandhi dancing with
Bipasha.
He asked:gandhi de saza ini mazedar kyon?
yamraj: saza ta Bipasha nu diti hai..
======================================
Sardar breaks an egg 2 make an omlet.
He finds d egg empty . . . Gets frustrated &
say's "iski maaki,aaj kal murgian bhi abortion karati hai!
=====================================
teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times
sardar: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara
====================================
how can u identify a sardar in a classroom?

try

try

think....

very simple

just see

who is erasing notes when teacher is erasing blackboard
==========================================
Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....
==========================================
Lect: write a note on Gandhi jayanti..??

So..
santa writes "Gandhi was a great man but maa kasam i dont know who is
Jayanti ..
=========================================
Santa went to mysore palace.

Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up wen he comes.
=============================================
Santa:banta yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Banta: oye tenu eh v nhi pata Santa. dear jab auto main koi ganji ladki ja
rahi ho to usse kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI.
=============================================
Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Wife: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
=============================================
Banta: you cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to you.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India
Radio!
========================================
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
========================================
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.
=======================================
Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!
=======================================
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
=======================================
Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda.
Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
=======================================
Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay
batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
=======================================
Santa was inserting dog's tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.

 

Advertisements