My Vonly Dearest Low,

I have a conpeshion to make. I low u sooooo much. I just low staring at your beautiful face all day long. I keep your poto by my bed and look alvays at it in the night middle time. Everyday I am thanking God for you for making Vicco Turmeric Ayurvedic Cream, because without it, you would not have that lovely scent of sandlewood or that lovely wheat colored complexion just like a fresh baked roti yar. You are such a delicious specimin of a vooman. Your lips are like nice, pink, sveet jilebi.

Sometimes I vant to bite off your nose because it reminds me of a pakora.

Smelling your hair reminds of the days vhen I vas backin the motherland and my servant used to rub coconut thel in my hair before I vould go to sleep. Vould you like to rub me with your oil vhile vee frolickk in the meadows? I vill let you be Kajol if you vill let me be Shah Rukh Khan.

We can dance and if it rains, it vill be even better because then it vill be truly Hindi style with my already tight jeans clinging to my skinny legs and your sari stuck to your plump stomach. But remember, no hanky panky.

At least not yet. Sometimes I am imagining vhat it vould be like if you were not in my life. But then I can smell the curry powder on your breath and I know you will be in my life forewer! I lowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww you wery wery much. Don't yewer porget. . . you are my little samosa and I am your chutney. You are my chicken curry and I am your naan. You are my stuffing and I am your paratha. You are my mango and I am your lassi.

Please accept this as a statement of my undying low for u porever and ever and ever.
Alvays porever your vun and vonly, Many low .