A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it was, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?"The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk."The man sets about his task.Forty five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery.He says, "I have travelled the earth and have found what you have asked for.There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth."The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound." The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is right behind that door."The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?" The monks give him the key, and he opens Theodor. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.But I can't tell you what it is, because you're not a monk.

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey pirate, do you know you've got a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?" The pirate says "Arrrh, I know, it's drivin me nuts"

A sculptor, a civil engineer and a computer scientist were arguing about the primacy of their professions.

"God created man out of clay," said the sculptor, "and so was clearly a sculptor."

"Before that," said the engineer, "He separated earth and waters from the chaos -- an immense feat of civil engineering. God was an engineer first."

"And how do you think," answered the computer scientist, "the chaos was made?"

Ask me if I have a banana in my ear.

Do you have a banana in your ear?

I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.

Q: What's green and has wheels?

A: Grass. I was just kidding about the wheels.

Two men were walking through the desert. They were nearly out of waterwhen they saw three tents in the distance. The hurried over to see if theycould get some water. In the first tent they were told, "I'm sorry we onlyhave trifle." In the second tent, again, "I'm sorry we only have trifle."They went into the third tent and again asked for water only to be told, "I'msorry we only sell trifle." As they walked on, one turned to the other andsaid, "That was a trifle bazaar."

I'm stuck on you.

There are more ducks on that side.

To a meatball.

A man was badly injured in a car accident. The entire left half of his body was torn off. He was taken to the hospital and examined. The doctors said he was all right. The nurses said there wasn't much left.

* SEOs are safe from the threat of automation taking over their professions. No one would build a robot to do nothing.
* If it weren’t for SEOs, we wouldn’t need them.
* Talk is cheap…until SEOs get involved.
* It is the trade of SEOs to question everything, yield nothing, and to talk by the hour.
–Thomas Jefferson
* How was copper wire invented?
Two SEOs were arguing over a penny.
*

Two SEOs were walking along negotiating a case. “Look,” said one, “let’s be honest with each other.” “Okay, you first,” replied the other. End of discussion.
* SEOs are the only profession where the more there are, the more are needed!
* Old SEOs never die, they just lose their rankings.
* What are SEOs good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.
* What do you call 100 SEOs at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
* What do you call 25 skydiving SEOs?
Skeet.
* What does molds, ooze, pond scum and SEOs have in common?
They’re all slime.
* What does pond scum have more of than SEOs?
Respect.
* What is the definition of a shame (as in “gee, that’s a shame”)?
When a tour bus full of SEOs goes over a cliff.
What is the definition of a “crying shame”?
There was an empty seat on the bus.
* What is the difference between pigs and SEOs?
You can learn to respect a pig.
* What’s the difference between SEOs and vampires?
Vampires only suck blood at night.
* Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the SEOs?
New Jersey got first pick .
* Why do they bury SEOs 20 feet under?
Because deep down, they’re really good people.
* Why don’t hyenas eat SEOs?
Even hyenas have some dignity.
* How many SEOs does it take to shingle a roof?
About 3 1/2, but you need to slice them pretty thin.
* It has been discovered that SEOs are the larval stage of politicians.
* Why should SEOs wear lots of sunscreen when vacationing at a beach resort?
Because they’re used to doing all of their lying indoors.
* Why won’t sharks attack SEOs?
Professional courtesy.
* The problem with SEOs jokes is that most SEOs don’t think they are funny, and most people don’t understand that they’re just jokes!

Christmas Story - for anyone having a bad day....

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

So, frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"





........ And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree........

A club sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don'tserve food here."

They both don't drive tractors.

Paint him red and catch him with the red elephant trap.

A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer,he heard a soothing voice say, "Nice tie!" Looking around he noticed that thebar was empty except for himself and the bartender. A few sips later thevoice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the bartender over."Hey, I must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearingthese voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here but us.""It's the peanuts," answered the bartender. "They're complimentary."

Fo' Drizzle!

Because he wanted the good grass

Ebay.

He was already stuffed!

Boo Berries!

Meet you in the valley!

Becuase You will get exhausted.

A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their wholelives studying the majestic grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned theirrespective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study thesewondrous beasts. Finally, their request was granted and they immediatelyflew to New York and then west to Yellowstone. They reported to the localranger station and were told that it was the grizzly mating season and it wasmuch too dangerous to go out and study the animals. They pleaded that thiswas their only chance. Finally the ranger relented. The Russian and theCzech were given cell phones and told to report in each day.For several days they called in, and then nothing was heard from the twoscientists. The rangers mounted a search party and found the scientists'camp completely ravaged. There was no sign of the missing men.They then followed the trail of a male and a female bear. They found thefemale and decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had eatenthe scientists, because they feared an international incident.They killed the female and cut open the bear's stomach and, sure enough,found the remains of the Russian.One ranger turned to the other and said, "You know what this means, don'tyou?""Of course," the other ranger nodded. "The Czech is in the male."

are in town for the Olympics, but they don't have tickets. The Englishman suggests a plan: "See that pile of construction material over there? We can take something from there and pretend to be an athlete, and they'll let us in."

The Englishman takes a long pole and carries it to the stadium gate. He tells the ticket taker, "Robertson, England, Pole Vaulting," and he is allowed in.

The Frenchman picks up a hammer and goes to the gate, saying "Danton, France, Hammer Toss." He too is let in.

The Pole grabs a roll of chain-link fence. At the gate, he says, "Koslowski, Poland, Fencing."

Bush Show Throwing Game

Throw Shoes on Bush! He tries to dodge... Hit Him!!

Instructions:
Mouse CLick to Throw.. no aiming.. :)



(please note...games may take long time to load depending upon the size of the game and speed of ur net also...so please be patient!)

Here's a picture of a public toilet in Sweden that's made entirely out of one-way glass.
No one can see you in there, but when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box.
But the question is.. would you still use it?

Outside Pic:


Inside Pic:

21 ECONOMIC MODELS EXPLAINED WITH COWS


SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...

Click on the image to view it properly

# Both humans and cats have identical regions in the brain responsible for emotion.
# A cat’s brain is more similar to a man’s brain than that of a dog.
# A cat has more bones than a human; humans have 206, but the cat has 230 (some cites list 245 bones, and state that bones may fuse together as the cat ages).
# Cats have 30 vertebrae–more than humans have.
# Cats do not have a collarbone, so they can fit through any opening the size of their head.
# The cat has 500 skeletal muscles (humans have 650).
# Cats have 32 muscles that control the outer ear (compared to human’s 6 muscles each). A cat can rotate its ears independently 180 degrees, and can turn in the direction of sound 10 times faster than those of the best watchdog.
# Cats’ hearing is much more sensitive than humans and dogs.
# Cats’ hearing stops at 65 khz (kilohertz); humans’ hearing stops at 20 khz.
# In relation to their body size, cats have the largest eyes of any mammal.
# Most cats do not have eyelashes.
# A cat sees about 6 times better than a human at night, and needs 1/6 the amount of of light that a human does - it has a layer of extra reflecting cells which absorb light.
# Recent studies have shown that cats can see blue and green. There is disagreement as to whether they can see red.
# A cat’s field of vision is about 185 degrees.
# Blue-eyed, pure white cats are frequently deaf.
# It may take as long as 2 weeks for a kitten to be able to hear well. Their eyes usually open between 7 and 10 days, but sometimes it happens in as little as 2 days.
# A cat has approximately 60 to 80 million olfactory cells (a human has between 5 and 20 million).
# Cats have a special scent organ located in the roof of their mouth, called the Jacobson’s organ. It analyzes smells - and is the reason why you will sometimes see your cat “sneer” (called the flehmen response or flehming) when they encounter a strong odor.
# A cat has a total of 24 whiskers, 4 rows of whiskers on each side. The upper two rows can move independently of the bottom two rows. A cat uses its whiskers for measuring distances.
#
# Cats have 30 teeth (12 incisors, 10 premolars, 4 canines, and 4 molars), while dogs have 42. Kittens have baby teeth, which are replaced by permanent teeth around the age of 7 months.
# A cat’s jaw has only up and down motion; it does not have any lateral, side to side motion, like dogs and humans. For this reason, don’t rely on feeding dry food as a dental care program - cats need to have their teeth cleaned by a vet.
# When a cat drinks, its tongue - which has tiny barbs on it - scoops the liquid up backwards.
# Cats purr at the same frequency as an idling diesel engine, about 26 cycles per second.
# Domestic cats purr both when inhaling and when exhaling.
# The cat’s front paw has 5 toes, but the back paws have 4. Some cats are born with as many as 7 front toes and extra back toes (polydactl).
# Cats step with both left legs, then both right legs when they walk or run.
# Cats walk on their toes.
# A domestic cat can sprint at about 31 miles per hour.
# The heaviest cat on record weighed 46 lbs.
# A kitten will typically weigh about 3 ounces at birth. The typical male housecat will weigh between 7 and 9 pounds, slightly less for female housecats.
# Cats take between 20-40 breaths per minute.
# Normal body temperature for a cat is 102 degrees F.
# A cat’s normal pulse is 140-240 beats per minute, with an average of 195.
# Cat’s urine glows under a black light.
# Cats lose almost as much fluid in the saliva while grooming themselves as they do through urination.
# Almost 10% of a cat’s bones are in its tail, and the tail is used to maintain balance.
# The domestic cat is the only species able to hold its tail vertically while walking. You can also learn about your cat’s present state of mind by observing the posture of his tail.
# If a cat is frightened, the hair stands up fairly evenly all over the body; when the cat threatens or is ready to attack, the hair stands up only in a narrow band along the spine and tail.

* Miacis, the primitive ancestor of cats, was a small, tree-living creature of the late Eocene period, some 45 to 50 million years ago.
* Phoenician cargo ships are thought to have brought the first domesticated cats to Europe in about 900 BC.
* The first true cats came into existence about 12 million years ago and were the Proailurus.
* The ancient Egyptians were the first to tame the cat (in about 3000 BC), and used them to control pests.
* Ancient Egyptian family members shaved their eyebrows in mourning when the family cat died.
* In Siam, the cat was so revered that one rode in a chariot at the head of a parade celebrating the new king.
* Cats have been domesticated for half as long as dogs have been.
* The Pilgrims were the first to introduce cats to North America.
* The first breeding pair of Siamese cats arrived in England in 1884.
* The first formal cat show was held in England in 1871; in America, in 1895.
* The Maine Coon cat is America’s only natural breed of domestic feline. It is 4 to 5 times larger than the Singapura, the smallest breed of cat.
* There are approximately 100 breeds of cat.
* The life expectancy of cats has nearly doubled since 1930 - from 8 to 16 years.

* Cats respond most readily to names that end in an “ee” sound.
* The female cat reaches sexual maturity within 6 to 10 months; most veterinarians suggest spaying the female at 5 months, before her first heat period. The male cat usually reaches sexual maturity between 9 and 12 months.
* Female cats are “polyestrous,” which means they may have many heat periods over the course of a year. A heat period lasts about 4 to 7 days if the female is bred; if she is not, the heat period lasts longer and recurs at regular intervals.
* A female cat will be pregnant for approximately 9 weeks - between 62 and 65 days from conception to delivery.
* Female felines are “superfecund,” which means that each of the kittens in her litter can have a different father.
* Many cats love having their forehead gently stroked.
* If a cat is frightened, put your hand over its eyes and forehead, or let him bury his head in your armpit to help calm him.
* A cat will tremble or shiver when it is in extreme pain.
* Cats should not be fed tuna exclusively, as it lacks taurine, an essential nutrient required for good feline health.
* Purring does not always indicate that a cat is happy and healthy - some cats will purr loudly when they are terrified or in pain.
* Not every cat gets “high” from catnip. If the cat doesn’t have a specific gene, it won’t react (about 20% do not have the gene). Catnip is non-addictive.
* Cats must have fat in their diet because they can’t produce it on their own.
* While many cats enjoy milk, it will give some cats diarrhea.
* A cat will spend nearly 30% of her life grooming herself.
* When a domestic cat goes after mice, about 1 pounce in 3 results in a catch.
* Mature cats with no health problems are in deep sleep 15 percent of their lives. They are in light sleep 50 percent of the time. That leaves just 35 percent awake time, or roughly 6-8 hours a day. Cats come back to full alertness faster than any other creature.
* A cat can jump 5 times as high as it is tall.
* Spaying a female before her first or second heat will greatly reduce the threat of mammary cancer and uterine disease. A cat does not need to have at least 1 litter to be healthy, nor will they “miss” motherhood. A tabby named “Dusty” gave birth to 420 documented kittens in her lifetime, while “Kitty” gave birth to 2 kittens at the age of 30, having given birth to a documented 218 kittens in her lifetime.
* Neutering a male cat will, in almost all cases, stop him from spraying (territorial marking), fighting with other males (at least over females), as well as lengthen his life and improve its quality.
* Declawing a cat is the same as cutting a human’s fingers off at the knuckle. There are several alternatives to a complete declawing, including trimming or a less radical (though more involved) surgery to remove the claws. Instead, train your cat to use a scratching post.
* The average lifespan of an outdoor-only (feral and non-feral) is about 3 years; an indoor-only cat can live 16 years and longer. Some cats have been documented to have a longevity of 34 years.
* Cats with long, lean bodies are more likely to be outgoing, and more protective and vocal than those with a stocky build.
* A steady diet of dog food may cause blindness in your cat - it lacks taurine.
* An estimated 50% of today’s cat owners never take their cats to a veterinarian for health care. Too, because cats tend to keep their problems to themselves, many owners think their cat is perfectly healthy when actually they may be suffering from a life-threatening disease. Therefore, cats, on an average, are much sicker than dogs by the time they are brought to your veterinarian for treatment.
* Never give your cat aspirin unless specifically prescribed by your veterinarian; it can be fatal. Never ever give Tylenol to a cat. And be sure to keep anti-freeze away from all animals - it’s sweet and enticing, but deadly poison.
* Most cats adore sardines.

# It has been scientifically proven that stroking a cat can lower one’s blood pressure.
# In 1987, cats overtook dogs as the number one pet in America (about 50 million cats resided in 24 million homes in 1986). About 37% of American homes today have at least one cat.
# If your cat snores or rolls over on his back to expose his belly, it means he trusts you.
# Cats respond better to women than to men, probably due to the fact that women’s voices have a higher pitch.
# In an average year, cat owners in the United States spend over $2 billion on cat food.
# According to a Gallup poll, most American pet owners obtain their cats by adopting strays.
# When your cats rubs up against you, she is actually marking you as “hers” with her scent. If your cat pushes his face against your head, it is a sign of acceptance and affection.
# Contrary to popular belief, people are not allergic to cat fur, dander, saliva, or urine - they are allergic to “sebum,” a fatty substance secreted by the cat’s sebaceous glands. More interesting, someone who is allergic to one cat may not be allergic to another cat. Though there isn’t (yet) a way of predicting which cat is more likely to cause allergic reactions, it has been proven that male cats shed much greater amounts of allergen than females. A neutered male, however, sheds much less than a non-neutered male.
# Cat bites are more likely to become infected than dog bites.
# Some notable people who disliked cats: Napoleon Bonaparte, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Hitler.

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."

"What did you not understand ?"

And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.

He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.

"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.

The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the
chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.

"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you
can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it" he asked.

Nahh" said the bloke,

"I'm just a really bad conductor"

During an English lesson, the teacher notices a boy was not paying attention to ther.

Teacher: Johnny, join these two sentences together: I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body

Johnny: (thinking for a while): I saw a dead body cycling to school!

---

Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing?
One is blue and the other is red with white stripes!

Johnny: Yes, it is really strange. I have got another pair just like this at home

Stickman Madness 3: Stronghold

Swarming stickmen come to ruin your picnic! Shoot them all! Beware - the longer you live, the stronger your enemy becomes. Don't forget your upgrades!

Instructions:
Mouse to aim and fire; spacebar to reload; G for grenade; 1-6 to swap weapons



(please note...games may take long time to load depending upon the size of the game and speed of ur net also...so please be patient!)

Burger Tycoon

From farm to feedlot; from franchise to corporate headquarters - rule your Burger Empire with an iron fist! Do you has multinational skillz?

Instructions:
Mouse control; see in-game instructions



(please note...games may take long time to load depending upon the size of the game and speed of ur net also...so please be patient!)

Boombot 2

I'm Mr. Boombastic! My explosive is plastic! Drop a bomb on a dime for a real good time! Put it down right and I take off flying! I'm Mr. Boombastic I say Boom Boom Boom...

Instructions:
Mouseclick to start a bomb; release to set it off!



(please note...games may take long time to load depending upon the size of the game and speed of ur net also...so please be patient!)

Karoshi Suicide Salaryman

Lost all your money? Fine, now you lose your life! Punish this pawn of industry by pushing him down a path of destruction!

Instructions:
Arrow keys for moving
Space for shooting with a gun (U need to find a Gun for that.)



(please note...games may take long time to load depending upon the size of the game and speed of ur net also...so please be patient!)

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. ;
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, " So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be
friends and live together in peace for the rest of our
days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you
completely, this must be a sign from God!" ;
The woman continues, "and look at this, here's another
miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of
wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine
and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half
the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back
on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" ;
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police.... "

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever and evil... Don't mess with us!

A young blonde woman decides to try horseback riding, even though she
has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse,
unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into action. As it
gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde begins to
slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but
cannot get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horses
neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway!
The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its' slipping rider.
Finally, losing her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away
from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot
becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the
horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over
and over and over. As her head is battered against the ground and she
is mere moments away from unconsciousness, to her great fortune, Frank,
the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep
trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot.
But you can't!!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and
make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your
right hand. Your foot will change direction!!!

I told you so... And there is nothing you can do about it!

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next,I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
6. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
7. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
8. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit.
9. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
10. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
11. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
12. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
13. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

14. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

An old nun who was living in a convent next to a Brooklyn construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating. She walked up to the group and with a big smile said: "Do you men know Jesus Christ?" They shook their heads and looked at each other. One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?" One of the steelworkers yelled down a "Why"? The worker yelled back, "His wife's here with his lunch."

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh.

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."

Raft Wars

One of those wormy games - you must defeat the stranded pirates! Fortunately, you're much funnier than they are.

Instructions:
Mouseclick to aim and fire



(please note...games may take long time to load depending upon the size of the game and speed of ur net also...so please be patient!)

Gangsters War

Mafia warfare has never been so fun! Choose American or Russian mobsters; deploy your street thugs, armed with brass knuckles, shivs and worse!

Instructions:
Mouse control; select units to deploy. Mouse to scroll across the screen



(please note...games may take long time to load depending upon the size of the game and speed of ur net also...so please be patient!)

Body Ladder

Those zombies are at it again! But you're wearing a top hat, so you're clearly far superior. Build a temple of the dead.

Instructions:
Left click to make zombie ladder.



(please note...games may take long time to load depending upon the size of the game and speed of ur net also...so please be patient!)

Click on the image to view it properly!








Enjoy!

Enjoy!