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Showing posts with label Other. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Other. Show all posts

Sardar`s Cancer

Posted In: . By Anonymous

Santa Singh went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Santa Singh in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you... you have cancer
and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month."

Santa Singh, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There he saw his son who had been waiting.

Santa Singh said, "Puttar, we Surds celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints." After three or four pints, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Santa Singh's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Santa Singh told them that the Surds celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends "I've only got few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS." The friends gave Santa Singh their condolences and they had a couple more beers. After his friends left, Santa Singh's son leaned over and whispered his confusion, "Dad, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!"

Santa Singh said, " I am dying from cancer, puttar. I just don't want any of them around your mother after I'm gone."

 

5 More Minutes Dad

Posted In: . By Muhammad Ahmed

While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man On a bench near a playground."That's my son over there," she said,pointing to a little boy in a redsweater who was gliding down the slide. "He's a fine looking boy" the man said. "That's my son on the swingin the blue sweater." Then, looking at his watch, he called to his son. "What do you say we go, Todd?"Todd pleaded, "Just five more minutes, Dad. Please?Just five more minutes." The man nodded and Todd continued to swing to his heart's content. Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his son."Time to go now?" Again Todd pleaded,"Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes."The man smiled and said, "O.K." "My, you certainly are a patient father," the woman responded. The man smiled and then said, "My older son Tommy was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with Tommy and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with Todd. He thinks he has five more minutes to swing. The truth is, I get Five more minutes to watch him play." ***************************************************** Life is all about making priorities, what are your priorities? Give someone you love 5 more minutes of your time today.

 

Money Quotes

Posted In: . By ABP

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
J. Paul Getty

A man explained inflation to his wife thus:
'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.'
Lord Barnett

Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Dorothy Parker

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
Errol Flynn

 

Computer Quotes

Posted In: . By ABP

What is a computer's first sign of old age?
Loss of memory.

What does a baby computer call his father?
Data.

What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard?
The space bar.

What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.

Why was there a bug in the computer?
It was looking for a byte to eat.

What is a computer virus?
A terminal illness.

To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.

Computers are not intelligent.
They only think they are.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI.

The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

 

Children Quotes

Posted In: . By ABP

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Clarence Darrow

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
Bill Maher

To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
Ernest Hemingway

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
Quentin Crisp

There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age.
Benjamin Spock

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
Nancy Mitford

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller

 

Facts On Cats

Posted In: . By Vasishta

# Both humans and cats have identical regions in the brain responsible for emotion.
# A cat’s brain is more similar to a man’s brain than that of a dog.
# A cat has more bones than a human; humans have 206, but the cat has 230 (some cites list 245 bones, and state that bones may fuse together as the cat ages).
# Cats have 30 vertebrae–more than humans have.
# Cats do not have a collarbone, so they can fit through any opening the size of their head.
# The cat has 500 skeletal muscles (humans have 650).
# Cats have 32 muscles that control the outer ear (compared to human’s 6 muscles each). A cat can rotate its ears independently 180 degrees, and can turn in the direction of sound 10 times faster than those of the best watchdog.
# Cats’ hearing is much more sensitive than humans and dogs.
# Cats’ hearing stops at 65 khz (kilohertz); humans’ hearing stops at 20 khz.
# In relation to their body size, cats have the largest eyes of any mammal.
# Most cats do not have eyelashes.
# A cat sees about 6 times better than a human at night, and needs 1/6 the amount of of light that a human does - it has a layer of extra reflecting cells which absorb light.
# Recent studies have shown that cats can see blue and green. There is disagreement as to whether they can see red.
# A cat’s field of vision is about 185 degrees.
# Blue-eyed, pure white cats are frequently deaf.
# It may take as long as 2 weeks for a kitten to be able to hear well. Their eyes usually open between 7 and 10 days, but sometimes it happens in as little as 2 days.
# A cat has approximately 60 to 80 million olfactory cells (a human has between 5 and 20 million).
# Cats have a special scent organ located in the roof of their mouth, called the Jacobson’s organ. It analyzes smells - and is the reason why you will sometimes see your cat “sneer” (called the flehmen response or flehming) when they encounter a strong odor.
# A cat has a total of 24 whiskers, 4 rows of whiskers on each side. The upper two rows can move independently of the bottom two rows. A cat uses its whiskers for measuring distances.
#
# Cats have 30 teeth (12 incisors, 10 premolars, 4 canines, and 4 molars), while dogs have 42. Kittens have baby teeth, which are replaced by permanent teeth around the age of 7 months.
# A cat’s jaw has only up and down motion; it does not have any lateral, side to side motion, like dogs and humans. For this reason, don’t rely on feeding dry food as a dental care program - cats need to have their teeth cleaned by a vet.
# When a cat drinks, its tongue - which has tiny barbs on it - scoops the liquid up backwards.
# Cats purr at the same frequency as an idling diesel engine, about 26 cycles per second.
# Domestic cats purr both when inhaling and when exhaling.
# The cat’s front paw has 5 toes, but the back paws have 4. Some cats are born with as many as 7 front toes and extra back toes (polydactl).
# Cats step with both left legs, then both right legs when they walk or run.
# Cats walk on their toes.
# A domestic cat can sprint at about 31 miles per hour.
# The heaviest cat on record weighed 46 lbs.
# A kitten will typically weigh about 3 ounces at birth. The typical male housecat will weigh between 7 and 9 pounds, slightly less for female housecats.
# Cats take between 20-40 breaths per minute.
# Normal body temperature for a cat is 102 degrees F.
# A cat’s normal pulse is 140-240 beats per minute, with an average of 195.
# Cat’s urine glows under a black light.
# Cats lose almost as much fluid in the saliva while grooming themselves as they do through urination.
# Almost 10% of a cat’s bones are in its tail, and the tail is used to maintain balance.
# The domestic cat is the only species able to hold its tail vertically while walking. You can also learn about your cat’s present state of mind by observing the posture of his tail.
# If a cat is frightened, the hair stands up fairly evenly all over the body; when the cat threatens or is ready to attack, the hair stands up only in a narrow band along the spine and tail.

* Miacis, the primitive ancestor of cats, was a small, tree-living creature of the late Eocene period, some 45 to 50 million years ago.
* Phoenician cargo ships are thought to have brought the first domesticated cats to Europe in about 900 BC.
* The first true cats came into existence about 12 million years ago and were the Proailurus.
* The ancient Egyptians were the first to tame the cat (in about 3000 BC), and used them to control pests.
* Ancient Egyptian family members shaved their eyebrows in mourning when the family cat died.
* In Siam, the cat was so revered that one rode in a chariot at the head of a parade celebrating the new king.
* Cats have been domesticated for half as long as dogs have been.
* The Pilgrims were the first to introduce cats to North America.
* The first breeding pair of Siamese cats arrived in England in 1884.
* The first formal cat show was held in England in 1871; in America, in 1895.
* The Maine Coon cat is America’s only natural breed of domestic feline. It is 4 to 5 times larger than the Singapura, the smallest breed of cat.
* There are approximately 100 breeds of cat.
* The life expectancy of cats has nearly doubled since 1930 - from 8 to 16 years.

* Cats respond most readily to names that end in an “ee” sound.
* The female cat reaches sexual maturity within 6 to 10 months; most veterinarians suggest spaying the female at 5 months, before her first heat period. The male cat usually reaches sexual maturity between 9 and 12 months.
* Female cats are “polyestrous,” which means they may have many heat periods over the course of a year. A heat period lasts about 4 to 7 days if the female is bred; if she is not, the heat period lasts longer and recurs at regular intervals.
* A female cat will be pregnant for approximately 9 weeks - between 62 and 65 days from conception to delivery.
* Female felines are “superfecund,” which means that each of the kittens in her litter can have a different father.
* Many cats love having their forehead gently stroked.
* If a cat is frightened, put your hand over its eyes and forehead, or let him bury his head in your armpit to help calm him.
* A cat will tremble or shiver when it is in extreme pain.
* Cats should not be fed tuna exclusively, as it lacks taurine, an essential nutrient required for good feline health.
* Purring does not always indicate that a cat is happy and healthy - some cats will purr loudly when they are terrified or in pain.
* Not every cat gets “high” from catnip. If the cat doesn’t have a specific gene, it won’t react (about 20% do not have the gene). Catnip is non-addictive.
* Cats must have fat in their diet because they can’t produce it on their own.
* While many cats enjoy milk, it will give some cats diarrhea.
* A cat will spend nearly 30% of her life grooming herself.
* When a domestic cat goes after mice, about 1 pounce in 3 results in a catch.
* Mature cats with no health problems are in deep sleep 15 percent of their lives. They are in light sleep 50 percent of the time. That leaves just 35 percent awake time, or roughly 6-8 hours a day. Cats come back to full alertness faster than any other creature.
* A cat can jump 5 times as high as it is tall.
* Spaying a female before her first or second heat will greatly reduce the threat of mammary cancer and uterine disease. A cat does not need to have at least 1 litter to be healthy, nor will they “miss” motherhood. A tabby named “Dusty” gave birth to 420 documented kittens in her lifetime, while “Kitty” gave birth to 2 kittens at the age of 30, having given birth to a documented 218 kittens in her lifetime.
* Neutering a male cat will, in almost all cases, stop him from spraying (territorial marking), fighting with other males (at least over females), as well as lengthen his life and improve its quality.
* Declawing a cat is the same as cutting a human’s fingers off at the knuckle. There are several alternatives to a complete declawing, including trimming or a less radical (though more involved) surgery to remove the claws. Instead, train your cat to use a scratching post.
* The average lifespan of an outdoor-only (feral and non-feral) is about 3 years; an indoor-only cat can live 16 years and longer. Some cats have been documented to have a longevity of 34 years.
* Cats with long, lean bodies are more likely to be outgoing, and more protective and vocal than those with a stocky build.
* A steady diet of dog food may cause blindness in your cat - it lacks taurine.
* An estimated 50% of today’s cat owners never take their cats to a veterinarian for health care. Too, because cats tend to keep their problems to themselves, many owners think their cat is perfectly healthy when actually they may be suffering from a life-threatening disease. Therefore, cats, on an average, are much sicker than dogs by the time they are brought to your veterinarian for treatment.
* Never give your cat aspirin unless specifically prescribed by your veterinarian; it can be fatal. Never ever give Tylenol to a cat. And be sure to keep anti-freeze away from all animals - it’s sweet and enticing, but deadly poison.
* Most cats adore sardines.

# It has been scientifically proven that stroking a cat can lower one’s blood pressure.
# In 1987, cats overtook dogs as the number one pet in America (about 50 million cats resided in 24 million homes in 1986). About 37% of American homes today have at least one cat.
# If your cat snores or rolls over on his back to expose his belly, it means he trusts you.
# Cats respond better to women than to men, probably due to the fact that women’s voices have a higher pitch.
# In an average year, cat owners in the United States spend over $2 billion on cat food.
# According to a Gallup poll, most American pet owners obtain their cats by adopting strays.
# When your cats rubs up against you, she is actually marking you as “hers” with her scent. If your cat pushes his face against your head, it is a sign of acceptance and affection.
# Contrary to popular belief, people are not allergic to cat fur, dander, saliva, or urine - they are allergic to “sebum,” a fatty substance secreted by the cat’s sebaceous glands. More interesting, someone who is allergic to one cat may not be allergic to another cat. Though there isn’t (yet) a way of predicting which cat is more likely to cause allergic reactions, it has been proven that male cats shed much greater amounts of allergen than females. A neutered male, however, sheds much less than a non-neutered male.
# Cat bites are more likely to become infected than dog bites.
# Some notable people who disliked cats: Napoleon Bonaparte, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Hitler.

 

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

Posted In: , . By Vasishta

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep
trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot.
But you can't!!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and
make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your
right hand. Your foot will change direction!!!

I told you so... And there is nothing you can do about it!

 

Tongue Twisters [contd.]

Posted In: . By Vasishta

If a sledering snail went down a slippery slide would a snail sleder or
Slide down the slide- By S.Walton

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Bubble bobble, bubble bobble, bubble bobble

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These thousand tricky tongue twisters trip thrillingly off the tongue .

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Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

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Lala Gope Gappungam Das.
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You curse, I curse, we all curse, for asparagus!

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Kacha papaya pacca papaya Kacha papaya pacca papaya Kacha papaya pacca
Papaya.
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Double bubble gum, bubbles double.

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A sailor went to sea To see, what he could see. And all he could see
Was sea, sea, sea.

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A box of mixed biscuits, a mixed biscuit box.

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Upper roller lower roller Upper roller lower roller. ...

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Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

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If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which
Watch?

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Which watch did which witch wear and which witch wore which watch? .

 

Nice Tongue Twisters!!

Posted In: . By Vasishta

A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook
Cookies

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I saw a saw that could out saw any other saw I ever saw .


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Betty Botter bought some butter, but she said " this butter's bitter!
But a bit of better butter will but make my butter better" So she bought some
Better butter, better than the bitter butter, and it made her butter better so
'twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter!

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Black bug bit a big black bear. But where is the big black bear that
The big black bug bit?

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A big bug bit the little beetle but the little beetle bit the big bug
Back.

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If you understand, say "understand" .
If you don't understand, say "don't understand".
But if you understand and say "don't understand".
How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

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I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.

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RED BULB BLUE BULB RED BULB BLUE BULB
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"RED BLOOD BLUE BLOOD"
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I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the
Witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

 

1. A rat can last longer without water than a camel.

2. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.

3. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

6. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.

7. A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2" by 3-1/2".

8. During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur," a small red car can be seen in the distance (and Heston's wearing a watch).

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily! (That explains a few mysteries... .)

10. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

12. The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564, 000.

13. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.

14. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a recorded Wendy before.

15. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

16. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (Who was the sadist who discovered this??)

17. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.

18. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen' s "Born in the USA."

19. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

20. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

21. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so the called themselves Motorola.

22. Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.

23. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.

24. Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

25. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike
contest.

26. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

27. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said, "Elementary, my dear Watson."

28. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!

29. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.

30. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.

31. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.

32. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!

 

Strange Human Facts

Posted In: . By Vasishta

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.

The average human will eat an average of 8 spiders while sleeping.

The average women consumes 6lbs of lipstick in her lifetime.

On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 questions a day.

Only 7% of the population are lefties.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

A human brain weighs about 3lbs.

1/4 of the bones in your body are in your feet.

You blink over 10,000,000 times a year.

When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop ... Even your heart.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza a day.

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

Koala and humans are the only animals with unique fingerprints.

The scent of apples and/or bananas can help you lose weight.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

Children grow faster in the spring.

On average a human will spend up to 2 weeks kissing in his or her lifetime A one-minute kiss burns 26 calories.

 

Do you know,







Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' &'d' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99




Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred )





Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999




( Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand )





Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999




( Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion )





And



Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire English Counting

 

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