AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented



BMW


Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster



BUICK


Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer



CHEVROLET


Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time



DODGE


Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere



FIAT


Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix It Again, Tony!