DEAR SANTA, You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month! While filled with illusion I wrote you this letter asking for a bicycle,an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year! Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you Santa, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my parents, my brothers, my friends and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity! WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, A STUPID ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT PRICK? YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE FUCKING YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE TREE. AS IF YOU HADN'T RAMMED IT UP ME FAR ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHIT HEAD ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY FUCKING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS HOUSE WITHOUT TRIPPING OVER THEM! PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT THAT LARD ASS OF YOURS DOWN OUR CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR! I'LL MAKE A BIG FIRE AND BURN YOUR BALLS. I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND SCARE THEM AWAY SO THAT YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK THAT BIG FAT KEISTER OF YOURS ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE NORTH POLE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET ME NO FUCKING BIKE. WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU PUNK BITCH. Love always, Little Johnny