One night, Pinnochio's girlfriend says to him, "This stinks. Every time we make love I get splinters." So Pinnochio goes to Gepetto to ask his advice. Gepetto tells him, "Sandpaper, my boy, that's all you need." A few days later Gepetto runs into Pinnochio and asks, "So how are you doing with the girls now?" Pinnochio answers, "Who needs girls?"