President George W. Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the 4th grade classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy." So the president asks the class for an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy." "No" says Bush, "that would be an accident." A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not" explains the President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS." The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, way in the back of the room, a boy named Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying you and Mrs. Bush, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that would be a tragedy. "Correct" exclaims Bush, "that's right. And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" "Well," Lil' Johnny said, "because, like you just told us, it wouldn't be an accident, and it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss."

It was the final examination for a Calculus course at the University Of Minnesota. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 600 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. Half an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet. "You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet." "Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. Just about half an hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there. "No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?" he said. "No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice. "Do you know who I am?" the student asked again. "No, and I don't care," replied the professor with an air of superiority. "Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.

Once upon time in a purple universe was a purple planet and on this purple plant was a purple land with purple houses were purple villagers lived and there was a purple hilltop, on this purple hilltop was a purple kingdom, in this purple kingdom, past the purple gates, up the purple path through the grand purple doors guarded by purple knight, sat a purple king in a purple throne room on a purple throne with his purple queen also sitting on a purple thrown.
One day the purple king throw a meeting for the people of purple in his purple meeting room in his purple palace. and he said to the purple people of purple
"Purple people of purple I propose that I will give the greatest reward ever in the history of this purple world to the purple person that makes me the nicest tastiest purple beer in the entire purple world I have ever tasted in my purple life"

So one purple villager takes it upon himself to make the nicest tastiest purple beer in the whole entire purple world, so leaves the purple meeting room through the purple doors past the purple gates down the purple cobbled path to his purple cottage down his purple stairs leading to his purple cellar where his purple beer making machine lives, and makes the nicest tastiest purple beer in the whole entire purple world and so leaves his purple house runs up the purple street to the purple kings purple palace throw the purple gates, past the purple doors to the purple throne room and presents the nicest tastiest purple beer in the whole entire purple world and the purple king takes a sip of the purple beer from the purple pint glass and goes "blurghhh!! Thats the most disgusting purple beer in the whoek entire purple world I've ever tasted on my whole purple life. Okay purple person I will give you one more chance to make the nicest tastiest purple beer in the whoel entire purple world ive ever tasted in my whole purple life."

So once again the purple person of this purple land left the purple palace down the purple street to his purple house down his purple stairs to his purple cellar where his purple beer machine lived and one again made the nicest tastiest purple beer ever in the entire purple world. and so he leaves his purple house runs up the purple street though the purple gates pas the purple guards that lead him to the purple king on his purple thrown in his purple thrown room in his purple palace. Th epurple person once again present the purple beer and the purple king sips the purple beer from the purple pint glass and goes...
"blurrrghh. Thats the most disgusting purple beer in the enitre purple world if ever tasted in my whole purple life, Thats it you purple person have direspected this purple kingdom and everything purple this purple land represtents! Purple guards take tjis purple person the purple dungeons!"

So the purple guards lead the purple person across the purple thron room, across the purple hall to a purple door that lead to purple stairs where purple degeons were and the purple guard took out a purple key put it in the purple lock, open the purple door, turned to the purple prisoner and told him...