Cigarette Warnings
Recent Canadian government research has shown that cigarette smoking not only impairs sexual ability, it actually causes shrinkage of the male sexual "equipment."

Wow! If that is true, we need to get the word out ASAP! Maybe the warning on the cigarette packs should be updated to reflect this new information.

How about something like this:

* Warning: These cigarettes are king size -- how about you?

* Warning: Smoking sections in restaurants aren't the only things getting smaller.

* Warning: If you don't reduce your smoking, your smoking will reduce you.

* Warning: Smoking may lead to ridicule on your honeymoon.

* Warning: Smoke rises, but you may not.

* Warning: Second-hand smoke can be harmful to children -- That is.. if you're capable of conceiving any.

* Warning: Cigarettes get shorter the more you puff -- so do you.

* Warning: How can you enjoy a smoke afterwards, if there's no before?

* Warning: The only thing left after a smoke is a dead stub.

* Warning: Don't throw lit cigarettes in the urinal -- you might not have the range to put them out.

T.Rajendran Marries an English Girl 



Enjoy this...... 


T. Rajendar was deeply in love with a English girl, 
whom he wanted to marry,but he did not have the 
courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to 
write a letter to her. 

THIS IS WHAT HE WROTE...... 

My Darling, 
Most worthy of your estimation, 
after a long consideration 
and much meditation, 
I have a strong inclination 
to become your relation. 

As to my educational qualification, 
it is no exaggeration or fabrication, 
that I have passed my matriculation, 
no doubt without any hesitation 
and very little concentrated preparation. 

What you say to the solemnization 
of our marriage celebration 
according to the population 
of the present generation.. 

On your approbation 
of this application, 
I shall make preparation 
to improve my situation, 
and if such obligation 
is worthy of consideration 
and commiseration, 
it will be an augmentation 
of the joy and exultation 
of our joint dissimulation. 

Thanking you in anticipation 
and with devotion. 
I remain, A victim of your fascination. 

Forever 
Your Lover 
T. Rajendar (Chimpanzee) 
SHE WROTE : 
Dear Mr. Victim of my fascination, 

Congratulation for your lengthy narration 
of course full of affection aimed at an affiliation 
for a combination which on examination 
I find is a fine presentation of your ambition. 
You have passed your matriculation with little preparation, 
what about my graduation after a long botheration, 
so improve situation in education 
and make an application by acquisition 
of post graduation and minimum qualification 
for the convocation and before taking your photo for 
circulation undergo beautification. 
Further strict observation of the following conditions is the 
regulation for the determination of our relation. 
1. Consultation of my parents before approaching for my 
connection. 
2. Communication of your confirmation that you are not a 
victim of any fascination and, 
3. Procreation must not be your recreation. 
In anticipation of a solid action 
instead of continuation of paper conversation. 

I Remain, 
Unaffected by your affection. 

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said,

"Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.

Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars.

Brittany was on her deathbed, with her husband Adam at her side.

She kept trying to tell him something, but he kept saying, "Shhhh, don't worry now darling, just rest."

"But honey," she whispered, "I need to make a confession before I die... I slept with your brother, your best friend, and your father."

"Don't worry about it, sweetie," replied Adam as he wiped the tears from Brittany's cheek, "I know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"

A young lady proceeds to a checkout at a supermarket.

The lad behind the counter zaps through her things... 1 can of beans, 1 toothbrush, 1 apple, 1 orange, 1 pair of socks...

"So, you're single then?" he asks.

"Yeah," she says sheepishly. "How'd you guess?"

You're f king ugly.